#I even get fake vivid memories of pulling up the zipper and EVEN YET

[iced-souls]

I just need to vent….

This year has been a curse and there seems to be nothing i can do to stop it.

[ogwivia]

Lie To Me- Youngblood Stories 3

{This is a set of original stories by Olivia Franklin. Each one is inspired by a song off the album Youngblood. I hope you enjoy, and if you have ideas for the other stories please let me know}

Cover Art by: KaLa-Kedavra

Dedicated to Liz, my number one Cal girl. I love you infinity.

Sitting backstage at your friend Calum’s gig in New York City, you desperately seek his help. You have been touring with them for the last two months, but tonight you fly home. This is your last chance to convince him to help you.

“Calum, please. Come on, if we do this we can both get what we want. My parents will be happy believing I am dating you, and your publicist will be appeased thinking you are dating me���.

In an attempt to beg with a look to accompany your voice, your puppy dog eyes make an appearance. Your begging gaze is met with a skeptical grin from Calum. After a long moment of consideration, he takes a deep breath before looking you directly in the eyes.

“Alright fine, I will do it. But will they really believe you and I are a couple?”

“Calum, nowadays we could both like the same photo on Instagram and people would begin theorizing that we were dating. Besides, we have been friends since we were kids. I’m sure we can be convincing enough.

There was a hesitation in Calum’s eyes, and you were not sure what was causing it, perhaps the brokenness still lingering in his eyes from the breakup, but maybe you are just overanalyzing. After making sure he is clear on the plan for your first fake date, you quickly thank him again and run off to call Darren. Admittedly, this whole situation was strange, but you really had no other options. Your parents did not approve of your boyfriend, and you had no idea why. Calum also benefits from this arrangement because he just got very publicly dumped by his ex and his publicist feels that being with a new girl will really boost his image. This was necessary, and besides, it was only a temporary arrangement until you can move out.

 *Calum’s POV*

As I watch her walk away, I allow the plan to replay in my head over and over. After she is out of sight, other thoughts begin to take the place of the details I am trying so desperately to remember. Maybe this was not a good idea after all.

Last night was the first night in months I was able to fall asleep rather than crying until my eyes ran out of tears. I loved Anaya, I loved her so much, and I thought she loved me too. The vivid memory of her breaking up with me backstage at her modeling show and then running to the nearby press to announce to the world still replays in my mind daily. Why did she have to do that to me, what did I do to deserve this? All I ever did was love that girl.

Snapping back to reality, I realize I am now standing in the middle of a public park crying. Wiping my tears, I begin to wonder if my heart will ever be able to mend itself enough to love again. Maybe this fake relationship is what I need to distract myself; besides, it is only a temporary arrangement until I find a new Anaya.

 The next few months went by seamlessly. On Friday nights, you and Calum would go on a very staged date and on Saturday nights you went out with Darren. Most dates would begin with you and Calum taking the longest route possible to get to each date location in order to make sure paparazzi saw you. After finally reaching the date location, you would meet up with Darren while Calum would linger nearby in case any “unwelcomed surprises”- your agreed upon nickname for the paparazzi that are a little too nosey- decided to grace you with their presence.

 While Saturday nights with Darren were obviously your favorite, Friday nights with Cal began carving a special place in your heart as the months dragged on. You were only six years old when you met Calum at an adventure summer camp in Australia. Growing up, you returned to that very same camp every summer, every year growing a little bit closer to Calum. By the time you both reached appropriate dating age, you had grown so close that a mutual agreement was made that it would be weird to date. However, the two of you remain to this day, very good friends. On the many Friday nights spent trying to convince the paparazzi, you would often reminisce on fond childhood memories while making new ones. This fake relationship thing was easy.

 *Calum POV*

After the first couple dates, I got the flow of everything down and it was easy to seamlessly execute our plan to not get caught. As soon as I dropped her off with Darren, my attention turned to the many dating apps I had downloaded to try to replace an irreplaceable person. Love that for me.

At first, the Friday night dates were very scripted and forced, but then we realized those conversations had to be no different than the ones we had normally.  Friday quickly became my favorite night of the week for many reasons, a big one is that, for a few hours, I could escape my broken world and live in an ideal one… even if it was just pretending. This fake relationship thing is easy.

Tonight, was the 21st fake date. Why am I keeping track of the exact number? I have no idea. She got to pick our activity this time and decided on a simple dinner at a café. Throwing on black jeans and a Green Day shirt, I head out the door to go meet her.

 Sitting at the park right across the street from Calum’s house, you wait patiently for him to arrive while talking to Darren on the phone.

“Baby it is only a little while longer, I promise”, you say trying to reassure your boyfriend.

“I know, but I do not like this at all. You seem to have way too much fun with him.”

“Darren, it is all a part of the charade. We have to keep up appearances or the public won’t believe it. Calum is an old friend, so we do have a good time together… but only as old friends. I promise. I have to go, Calum is here. I love you, see you tomorrow.”

Hanging up the phone, you greet Calum with a hug and kiss on the cheek. As you walked to the café, you couldn’t help but notice an odd feeling in the pit of your stomach. It happened every time you talked to Darren about Calum… but why? Pushing those thoughts into the back of your mind, you turn your focus to Calum.

*Calum POV*

As I approached her, I felt a sinking feeling in my chest… but why? Tonight, was no different than the other 20 times we have done this. I push these thoughts to the back of my head as I reach her.

I could tell she was here physically, but her mind was a million miles away. She probably just had a long day of work or something, I elect not to ask. Eventually, she snaps back to reality and everything seems normal again… well, as normal as a fake date can be.

The next evening, you stand in front of the mirror modeling a knee length, royal blue, strapless dress. Tonight, Darren is taking you to a five-star restaurant, the expensive kind with teeny-tiny portions. Throwing on a pair of sparkly silver high heels, you once again return to the mirror for one final look. Tonight is going to be amazing, so why did it feel so wrong? Taking one final glance, you walk out the door to your apartment. In order to not arouse suspicion, Calum is driving you to the restaurant and Darren will meet you there.

Throughout the whole dinner, you find yourself periodically glancing over Darren’s shoulder to Calum who is seated alone at the next table. Why are you doing this? Darren is buying you a nice dinner, focus on Darren.

*Calum POV*

It is times like this that I miss Anaya the most.

What a way to spend a Saturday night… sitting at a five-star restaurant, by myself, watching my fake girlfriend go on a date with her real boyfriend. I should’ve dragged one of the boys along with me, so then at least not feel like as much of a loser. I find myself watching them closer than normal, almost as if to make sure she is safe… why do I care so much more all of the sudden? The one prominent thing I notice above everything else is that she looks happy… very, very happy.

My brooding thoughts are interrupted by them walking over to my table.

“Hey Cal, Darren is going to take me back to his apartment so you can just head home.”

Here comes that stupid, unexplainable feeling again. Note to self: Ask Ashton about this later, maybe he can help.

“Okay, um… yea. I guess I will see you later.”

Giving me a hug, she runs off.

As you and Darren reach his car, that weird feeling returns… but, it is probably just nerves. After driving for a few miles, Darren pulls off into a little park, so that the two of you can stargaze. It was little moments like this that reminded you why you love him. He pulls out a picnic blanket, and you settle into your spot…

…right in his arms…

…right where you should be…

That last thought stings a little, but you brush it off and enjoy the evening. The two of you watch the stars for hours, quietly enjoying each other’s company. Darren finally glances at his watch and realizes it is 2 in the morning and y’all should probably get back to his apartment.

You walk in the door and everything feels so wrong… but it shouldn’t… it should be perfect; it should be amazing… it shou-

Your thought is interrupted by Darren pulling you in for a deep kiss. Suddenly, every other thought fades, and you lose yourself in the moment. Maybe it was just nerves after all.

Everything is great until he reaches around for the zipper of your dress; suddenly, every thought explodes at once. Pushing his hand away, you break the kiss and step away.

“I’m sorry, I am just not ready yet.”

“What do you mean you aren’t ready yet?”

“I mean… I am not ready yet, could we just go to bed… please?”

Reluctantly, Darren agrees and you both lay down to sleep. He quickly drifts off, but you, the only drifting you are doing is down a long train of thought. Glancing over at the clock, you see the time… 3 AM. Perfect, you are going to have a great day tomorrow running on little to no sleep. Why can’t you rest? You are here, wrapped in the arms of the one you love.

…The one you love…

A moment of realization suddenly hits you… you finally diagnose the weird feeling that keeps popping up. Oh no.

*Calum POV*

I return home… alone… again. Everything was going well, I was recovering, getting better… maybe even a little bit happy. So why do I feel so empty and broken now?

I lie awake allowing a million thoughts to run through my head. Glancing over at the clock, it says 3 AM. Why can’t I sleep? I just want to sleep.

Why do I feel this way? She is happy… Why am I not happy?

I mean it’s not like I lov-

Oh no.

I don’t know what to do with this revelation? How do I proceed? I can’t do anything, she is with someone, she is happy.

Getting out of bed I open my notebook and decide to do the thing I do best, write a song. Tonight I am once again crying, but for a very different reason. Tears streaming down my face, I begin to write.

I saw you looking brand new overnight I caught you looking, too, but you didn't look twice You look happy You look happy

She seems so content with him… how could I ever take that away from her?

Flashing back to New York City Changing flights so you'd stay with me Remember thinking that I got this right

What if I had not let her walk away that day? What if I stopped her? What if I realized my true feelings then? The trouble was… I was so sure I knew what I wanted… so sure I had this right.

Now I wish we'd never met 'Cause you're too hard to forget While I'm cleaning up your mess I know he's taking off your dress And I know that you don't But if I ask you if you love me I hope you li-li-li-lie Lie to me

Maybe life would be better if I had not decided to go to an adventure camp. Maybe everything would be easier. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt this bad.

It's three A.M. and the moonlight's testing me If I can make it 'til dawn then it won't be hard to see That I ain't happy I ain't too happy

I am not happy… not happy at all… I cannot even begin to imagine my life without her. Even if it is all a lie… I would love to hear her say it just once… just once.

 Your 3 AM thoughts are still there when you wake the next morning. You were so happy… or at least… you thought you were. Had you been lying to yourself this whole time? You and Calum both agreed that you would never date… but how much longer could you really keep that promise.

Woah… wait… hold up a second. You still have a boyfriend; you convince your mind to deal with that first. He has been so good to you, so kind, so caring… but, he is not the one you love.

Maybe he was… or maybe you told yourself he was… but now, the thought of being with anyone except Calum causes your heart to sink.

Slowly walking over, you wake Darren up.

“We need to talk”

*Calum POV*

I shoot a quick text to her, begging for a meeting at the park. A few minutes later, my phone buzzes with a text of agreeance and I take off towards the park. There is no way someone in a relationship that happy would ever consider loving someone as broken as me, but I have to hear her say it… just once.

Calum’s text was an unexpected but welcome surprise. This is the perfect opportunity. Besides, sitting in the same apartment as someone you just broke up with would not make for a pleasant afternoon. You needed to talk to Calum, yet the thought of what he would say terrified you.

Just friends… that was the agreement… why would he ever change his mind… especially for someone as insignificant as you.

Quickly drying your tears, you run out of the apartment to meet Cal.

Approaching the park, you run up to Calum.

“We need to talk”, you both say in unison.

“Let me go first”, Calum says in a very insisting tone.

Seating yourself on a bench beside him, he begins to talk.

“Please, hear me all the way out. When we started the whole fake relationship thing, I thought it was a great idea. We had agreed to be just friends and I had no problem sticking to that promise. Then, I started to find myself craving every second we spent together. Those Friday nights were something I looked forward to every week. At first, seeing you with Darren did not bother me at all, but after a couple of months, every time I saw you with him, I wished it was me. Listen, At the end of the day, what I want most is for you to be happy. I would not take your happiness away from you for anything in the world. You seem happy with Darren, and if you really love him, then I won’t interfere. I know, I know you love him and not me… but I need you to know… to know that I love you, always have, always will. But… if you can look me in the eyes right now and tell me you don’t love me, I will walk away and let you be happy.”

His last words hit your heart like the earth’s sharpest dagger. Tears pour down your face like a flowing river through a broken dam. Finally composing yourself enough, you turn to answer.

“Calum… I cannot look you in the eyes and say I don’t love you because I realized last night… that I do. I think I always have… I was just too scared to admit it. I thought you would be mad or upset because we had made that promise… that stupid promise And I-“

Your rambling is interrupted by Calum pulling you in for a deep kiss. At that moment, everything seems so right. The world is at it should be. I loved him, he loved me. There were no lies necessary.